this book i'm reading has this to say...
"(take) a moment and consider what you would think of yourself if tomorrow you lost everything that the world has rewarded you for..."
this is a profound question. when we've lost everything, do we still know who we are? are we still secure in the knowledge of who we are, the truth that we are co-heirs, beloved, victors....
all of my life i've had a self-image problem. if you had asked me in secondary school if i was geeky/nerdy, i would have told you yes without hesitation, and its not something i was proud of. the image has changed for the better, somewhat.... i think of myself as a fairly smart, nice guy with some self-discipline problems....
so we apply what the book says, and take away everything that the world has ever rewarded me for. and i become a guy.... with some self-discipline problems.
and then i suddenly feel like i'm a weakling... with no redeeming quality whatsoever. someone who is merely using oxygen here on earth, and of no help to anyone at all.....
i wonder if its a coincidence that i was led to read Job recently....
from what i have just written, i see that there is an issue... that to a certain extent, i'm deriving my self-worth from my talents, my intelligence... now that i've identified it, the feeling fades....
and i take heart from the knowledge that i have some idea of where i'm going in this life... knowing what i want to do when i grow up... knowing and believing that God has given me specific instructions about some things which i am taking up (start army cell)... that i have a purpose, and because i have a purpose, therefore my life has meaning, my life has worth............ that i am valued enough to be entrusted with an important part of God's plan in my church...
i don't quite know if that's the right attitude to have.... i thought that ideally self-worth should be intrinsic, something which can never be taken away from you regardless of what you think your talents or your purposes are in life.... could you live with yourself if you lost all your talents and abilities... and could you live with yourself if you felt that there was no goal to strive towards, no battle to fight, no adventure to win....
seems to synergize quite nicely with my previous post.... i sense pattern.....
