http://youtube.com/watch?v=dTofMmaIKmk&mode=related&search=

just putting this here so i can remember where it is...

Matt 10:33 But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.

parental approval

i had this mental image of God talking to one of the othe beings that hang around in heaven, pointing at me and saying, "Look! See that guy there! Yeah! THAT one! That's my son!"

it feels quite nice.

poultry-fication

i chickened out today. like a chicken running from the chopping block, when push came to shove, i exited, stage left. i'm mixing metaphors too. apparently it's a bad habit.

and so i'm left to ruminate on what could have been. the conditions were all right - pastor was there, lending his support. there were a whole bunch of old faces whom i hadn't seen in forever, and i do believe that they came for a reason. some people gave me discouraging remarks, but i had put that away as the result of an over-analytical mind. in every song i found words of encouragement, spurring me onwards. but.

and i feel a little bit like Peter, after the rooster crowed. left alone to rue decisions made in the heat of the fight. so terribly apt that i testified about failure today - look! it has come true again!

i am looking for the restoration that Jesus gave Peter, but i think that it has to come from the mouth of a person. and i have a few people in mind, so i guess that's good.

i've got a page of my planner that's gradually filling up with blog entries delayed. somehow i don't think they'll ever get posted.