oops i left my real name there. oh well. now perhaps people can link all my seditious posts to me and have me arrested under the ISA or something. =).
it's impossible to find silence nowadays. unless you have those white-noise-headphone things that blank out all sound. but its kinda hard to wear those all the time. hard to relate to people then.
there was like only one person in the office today (besides me, that is) for some time. and still there was noise. he was listening to music on the comp. similarly next door... only one person, with a radio on. it seems to me that people can't stand the sound of silence. and that's just sad.
our heads are continually bombarded by streams of sensations... is it any wonder that we have trouble being quiet before the Lord? some days it seems that in the rare periods of silence, my brain generates its own "noise", so much so that i can't focus on anything.
i lose my train of thought so much more easily, nowadays. attempting 'A' level math... i'll be chugging along, working things out systematically, when suddenly my brain decides to stop of its own accord.... i'll be thinking the same mathematical phrase over and over and over again... and after about ten seconds i'll forget what i was thinking about. 100% packet loss. sigh.... this is what being out of school for two years has resulted in.
i visited a secondary school today. part of work, setting up an army exhibition thingummy, Nan Hua Secondary. went with this lady Captain, spent over an hour in her vehicle with her during the travelling to and fro. and apparently i'm an adult now, 'cos we talked about bank loans and bringing up children and the difficulty of affording life in Singapore and changing values of the generations. was rather relaxing actually, notwithstanding the weighty conversation topics.
there is a difference between doing what is right, and doing the right thing. that was phrased terribly, but i don't know how else to put it. but there is no point in following rules legalistically - "everything is permissible, but not everything is good". that's actually quoted directly from the Bible, which probably would surprise many people. but our faith is not about following a bunch of laws laid down back in the days of Moses, but rather, about loving people, and doing things that edify them, and show them who God is.
it's so difficult to remember this, and apply it.
not giving up.
Oct 24, 2005
Oct 17, 2005
i'm improving!!
yay. it's only been like a week since my last post. definitely an improvement.
although i daresay that frequency of posts is not a criteria to determine a good blog.
just reading the blogs of a couple of friends from church, just wanted to say something about that. about how nice it is to read how God works in other people's lives. it's like testimony, and it's available worldwide! edifying....
work was good today. somewhat high coming home. which is rather incredible considering the circumstances... about 5 hours of sleep, people suddenly deciding to fall sick and not turn up, and various things going missing at work which i'm supposed to keep track of... thankfully i was not subject to verbal reprimand, which i take rather badly. but there was abit of constructive discussion and brainstorming on how to improve work procedures.... things to look forward to, as opposed to things to dread.
and i brought a CD to work today. Petra Praise 2, edifying music. listened to edifying music all afternoon, which really, really helped. alot. edifying music is important - so many people i know place the lyrics of songs which have touched them recently on their blogs... i've hardly listened to music these past two years Serving the Nation... my song repertoire is seriously out-dated. =). plus what with all the CCLI stuff and that i refuse to pirate music.... well... sigh. never mind, not to dwell on such things.
what with people on leave and having various excuses, i was alone in the office in the afternoon. and i really enjoy that. working at my own pace, having fewer people popping in and out, music which i enjoy, and the ability to have more serious conversations with people.... i remember feeling really crap in the morning because of the various "issues" about missing items, then i prayed during lunchtime that the people around me would be happy with what work i did, so that i would not be a nuisance and hindrance to them. and it seems to me that the answer was yes! hallelujah!
did i mention i've just come back from Hong Kong? =) amazing place... so much cooler than Singapore.
although i daresay that frequency of posts is not a criteria to determine a good blog.
just reading the blogs of a couple of friends from church, just wanted to say something about that. about how nice it is to read how God works in other people's lives. it's like testimony, and it's available worldwide! edifying....
work was good today. somewhat high coming home. which is rather incredible considering the circumstances... about 5 hours of sleep, people suddenly deciding to fall sick and not turn up, and various things going missing at work which i'm supposed to keep track of... thankfully i was not subject to verbal reprimand, which i take rather badly. but there was abit of constructive discussion and brainstorming on how to improve work procedures.... things to look forward to, as opposed to things to dread.
and i brought a CD to work today. Petra Praise 2, edifying music. listened to edifying music all afternoon, which really, really helped. alot. edifying music is important - so many people i know place the lyrics of songs which have touched them recently on their blogs... i've hardly listened to music these past two years Serving the Nation... my song repertoire is seriously out-dated. =). plus what with all the CCLI stuff and that i refuse to pirate music.... well... sigh. never mind, not to dwell on such things.
what with people on leave and having various excuses, i was alone in the office in the afternoon. and i really enjoy that. working at my own pace, having fewer people popping in and out, music which i enjoy, and the ability to have more serious conversations with people.... i remember feeling really crap in the morning because of the various "issues" about missing items, then i prayed during lunchtime that the people around me would be happy with what work i did, so that i would not be a nuisance and hindrance to them. and it seems to me that the answer was yes! hallelujah!
did i mention i've just come back from Hong Kong? =) amazing place... so much cooler than Singapore.
Oct 9, 2005
three-week hiatus, or sabbatical as the comic strip authors call it, and then two posts in two days. i am definitely beginning to see a pattern here.
i'm not supposed to be doing this. not now. i have many other things which need doing, all of which are being studiously ignored in favour of re-reading a Harry Potter book lounging on my mom's bed. supposed to be keeping her company these days - everyone else in the house is overseas.
Harry Potter books are adventure books. i like adventure books. i occasionally wonder how cool it would be if real life were like that; full of drama, intrigue, action. methinks it would be too tiring for me though.
i've grown to realise how JKRowling is actually pushing her own values through her writing. preaching, if i may use that word, against discrimination, with all that pure-blood / mudblood issues. against bullying the weak, how Harry's best friends are the round-faced forgetful one, the one called Loony (not Wayne Rooney, no), the buck-toothed know-it-all, the tall, gangly freckled one. not that i see anything wrong about being tall and gangly, but i've been brought up differently, i suppose. she's teaching kids not to judge people based on appearances, and i believe that she will be wildly effective in doing so, because the books are just so popular.
from the books, i see that she values courage and loyalty, and probably a sense of humour as well.
i've seen a couple of books being sold by Christian bookstores, whose titles generally lean towards things like "The Truth Behind Harry Potter", or something towards that meaning. i've heard someone tell me that some of the names used in the book are actually the names of demons, although how we learned the names of these demons was not told to me.(not to discredit the statement - its true that demons have names, i think. Legion, and Lucifer, amongst others)
but i have also learnt that the way to judge things is by their fruit. and if these books inspire young children to act in the same way as her protagonists do, then i see nothing wrong with the books.
although i do think there is a possibility that reading such things would inspire some kids to find out more about magic. that's a troubling thought that i haven't settled yet within myself. but i believe that kids of today understand the difference between fact and fiction.... we have to educate kids about such ugly truths in the world anyway.
i mentioned how i was drawn by the almost-chivalric ideals of courage, and loyalty as expressed in the book. i've always tried to be the gentleman, thinking it the right thing to do. but i realise that there are far better ideals to work towards; faith, love, humility, discipline... some of which i have in sorely insufficient quantities. these things are not highly prized or glorified in this world of ours, yet they hold more steadfast than anything this world can offer.
it seems to me that when i read blogs.... that guys and girls blog very differently. in general, i mean. there are exceptions to the rule. but ladies tend to be more... i dunno... in touch with their emotions, i guess. guys talk more about the world around them, things they've seen and experienced. as in, i just left a comment on a guy's blog with regards to (wrt) the etymology of H2G2. which would be distinctly out of place on a girl's blog. i think that a proper understanding of the differences between the two sexes will lead to healthier relations amongst the afore-mentioned.
and a big thank you to all of you who remembered my birthday. especially a certain someone who made it really special. =). its very nice to be remembered.
i'm not supposed to be doing this. not now. i have many other things which need doing, all of which are being studiously ignored in favour of re-reading a Harry Potter book lounging on my mom's bed. supposed to be keeping her company these days - everyone else in the house is overseas.
Harry Potter books are adventure books. i like adventure books. i occasionally wonder how cool it would be if real life were like that; full of drama, intrigue, action. methinks it would be too tiring for me though.
i've grown to realise how JKRowling is actually pushing her own values through her writing. preaching, if i may use that word, against discrimination, with all that pure-blood / mudblood issues. against bullying the weak, how Harry's best friends are the round-faced forgetful one, the one called Loony (not Wayne Rooney, no), the buck-toothed know-it-all, the tall, gangly freckled one. not that i see anything wrong about being tall and gangly, but i've been brought up differently, i suppose. she's teaching kids not to judge people based on appearances, and i believe that she will be wildly effective in doing so, because the books are just so popular.
from the books, i see that she values courage and loyalty, and probably a sense of humour as well.
i've seen a couple of books being sold by Christian bookstores, whose titles generally lean towards things like "The Truth Behind Harry Potter", or something towards that meaning. i've heard someone tell me that some of the names used in the book are actually the names of demons, although how we learned the names of these demons was not told to me.(not to discredit the statement - its true that demons have names, i think. Legion, and Lucifer, amongst others)
but i have also learnt that the way to judge things is by their fruit. and if these books inspire young children to act in the same way as her protagonists do, then i see nothing wrong with the books.
although i do think there is a possibility that reading such things would inspire some kids to find out more about magic. that's a troubling thought that i haven't settled yet within myself. but i believe that kids of today understand the difference between fact and fiction.... we have to educate kids about such ugly truths in the world anyway.
i mentioned how i was drawn by the almost-chivalric ideals of courage, and loyalty as expressed in the book. i've always tried to be the gentleman, thinking it the right thing to do. but i realise that there are far better ideals to work towards; faith, love, humility, discipline... some of which i have in sorely insufficient quantities. these things are not highly prized or glorified in this world of ours, yet they hold more steadfast than anything this world can offer.
it seems to me that when i read blogs.... that guys and girls blog very differently. in general, i mean. there are exceptions to the rule. but ladies tend to be more... i dunno... in touch with their emotions, i guess. guys talk more about the world around them, things they've seen and experienced. as in, i just left a comment on a guy's blog with regards to (wrt) the etymology of H2G2. which would be distinctly out of place on a girl's blog. i think that a proper understanding of the differences between the two sexes will lead to healthier relations amongst the afore-mentioned.
and a big thank you to all of you who remembered my birthday. especially a certain someone who made it really special. =). its very nice to be remembered.
Oct 8, 2005
as usual, a three-week interval between posts....
so many things happen, so many thoughts, feelings, things of note - all gone forever, cos i had no time to write it down. only a few remain in my memory... which i suppose is a good thing, in a sense. kind of like an autofilter for the more important / interesting stuff.
like the huge turtle (well, relatively large for singapore anyway. about 18 inches) i found scrabbling around in a drain by the road last... tuesday? and the various frogs and lizards and earthworms i'm encountering in my new vocation as a drain-cleaner.
it's not been a very good three weeks. that's abit of a generalization, 'cos i suppose some days were pretty ok, while some were pretty horrible. strange how my perception of each day can vary so greatly when the actual proceedings of each day hardly change... it's an attitude thing, i'm beginning to realise.
i've not been doing my quiet time. i really have to cut some things from my schedule. 10.5 hours minimum at work / travelling, preferably 8 hours of sleep, 2.5 hours of various administrative things like eating and bathing, leaves three hours each day. and it seems there's always some useful / productive activity that i feel i can contribute to, that steals more of my time. i don't have any free time - it's all been allocated to my various tasks. i think i should cut back.
and to think i'm still supposed to be a happy, carefree youth. i dread the time when i hit adulthood, when my time will be further subdivided, to encompass familial responsibilities, a more stressful working life, more relationships to balance... oh for those halcyon days of childhood. i'm tired, but then again i say that all the time. i managed to fall asleep standing on the train yesterday. again.
i'm learning alot, still. i'm learning that no-one's perfect. that the people who annoy you aren't necessarily worse than the people you call friends. that a sense of self-fulfillment only comes with hard work.
there are times i get the feeling that all we ever do in life is to serve. and that's very tiring. i want to go Home.
even on this saturday, supposedly a day of rest, i have an assignment; to clean this house. and possibly worship prac later. and seeing as its already past noon, i doubt i'll finish. and i have a headache which i think is dehydration.
time to put some music on.
so many things happen, so many thoughts, feelings, things of note - all gone forever, cos i had no time to write it down. only a few remain in my memory... which i suppose is a good thing, in a sense. kind of like an autofilter for the more important / interesting stuff.
like the huge turtle (well, relatively large for singapore anyway. about 18 inches) i found scrabbling around in a drain by the road last... tuesday? and the various frogs and lizards and earthworms i'm encountering in my new vocation as a drain-cleaner.
it's not been a very good three weeks. that's abit of a generalization, 'cos i suppose some days were pretty ok, while some were pretty horrible. strange how my perception of each day can vary so greatly when the actual proceedings of each day hardly change... it's an attitude thing, i'm beginning to realise.
i've not been doing my quiet time. i really have to cut some things from my schedule. 10.5 hours minimum at work / travelling, preferably 8 hours of sleep, 2.5 hours of various administrative things like eating and bathing, leaves three hours each day. and it seems there's always some useful / productive activity that i feel i can contribute to, that steals more of my time. i don't have any free time - it's all been allocated to my various tasks. i think i should cut back.
and to think i'm still supposed to be a happy, carefree youth. i dread the time when i hit adulthood, when my time will be further subdivided, to encompass familial responsibilities, a more stressful working life, more relationships to balance... oh for those halcyon days of childhood. i'm tired, but then again i say that all the time. i managed to fall asleep standing on the train yesterday. again.
i'm learning alot, still. i'm learning that no-one's perfect. that the people who annoy you aren't necessarily worse than the people you call friends. that a sense of self-fulfillment only comes with hard work.
there are times i get the feeling that all we ever do in life is to serve. and that's very tiring. i want to go Home.
even on this saturday, supposedly a day of rest, i have an assignment; to clean this house. and possibly worship prac later. and seeing as its already past noon, i doubt i'll finish. and i have a headache which i think is dehydration.
time to put some music on.
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