as usual, a three-week interval between posts....
so many things happen, so many thoughts, feelings, things of note - all gone forever, cos i had no time to write it down. only a few remain in my memory... which i suppose is a good thing, in a sense. kind of like an autofilter for the more important / interesting stuff.
like the huge turtle (well, relatively large for singapore anyway. about 18 inches) i found scrabbling around in a drain by the road last... tuesday? and the various frogs and lizards and earthworms i'm encountering in my new vocation as a drain-cleaner.
it's not been a very good three weeks. that's abit of a generalization, 'cos i suppose some days were pretty ok, while some were pretty horrible. strange how my perception of each day can vary so greatly when the actual proceedings of each day hardly change... it's an attitude thing, i'm beginning to realise.
i've not been doing my quiet time. i really have to cut some things from my schedule. 10.5 hours minimum at work / travelling, preferably 8 hours of sleep, 2.5 hours of various administrative things like eating and bathing, leaves three hours each day. and it seems there's always some useful / productive activity that i feel i can contribute to, that steals more of my time. i don't have any free time - it's all been allocated to my various tasks. i think i should cut back.
and to think i'm still supposed to be a happy, carefree youth. i dread the time when i hit adulthood, when my time will be further subdivided, to encompass familial responsibilities, a more stressful working life, more relationships to balance... oh for those halcyon days of childhood. i'm tired, but then again i say that all the time. i managed to fall asleep standing on the train yesterday. again.
i'm learning alot, still. i'm learning that no-one's perfect. that the people who annoy you aren't necessarily worse than the people you call friends. that a sense of self-fulfillment only comes with hard work.
there are times i get the feeling that all we ever do in life is to serve. and that's very tiring. i want to go Home.
even on this saturday, supposedly a day of rest, i have an assignment; to clean this house. and possibly worship prac later. and seeing as its already past noon, i doubt i'll finish. and i have a headache which i think is dehydration.
time to put some music on.
