it has been too long.
so many things happening, no time to write it all down. i really want a laptop, because i think to myself that by always having the writing medium near me, i will write more.
yeah right.
i've said it before, and i'll say it again. if you really want to do something, you will knuckle down and do it. you will make time for it, most likely excavate spare minutes and hours from your already-insufficient sleep-time, but you will, and i have not.
home is hardly conducive to writing, thinking. the TV is always on, and whenever i am at home, i just want to crawl into bed and sleep. or play computer. i get the most work done when i wake up in the morning, about 9am thereabouts, and find that there's absolutely no one at home, and that the place is somehow neat. then i can get down and do productive things, and start the whole day off on a good note.
and yet i AM doing productive things. somehow. all the endless meetings and typing things for eye-fo, studying my physics so that i can teach well, starting the whole tuition thing again. but those are things that mainly take place outside the house... inside the house, nothing works too well.
the book i was reading recently asked me to imagine what my life would be like if all my dreams came true. can't remember the purpose of that particular exercise, but i do know what my ideal future looks like, somewhat. happily married, a bunch of good kids who grow up as self-confident, loving, young people. i don't necessarily want to be doing great things in church, i don't really see myself being too concerned about my job. what more can one ask, really, but to be surrounded by people you love, and who love you back. it is a comfort zone, and discerning people will know that i really love my comfort zones.
i've been told that i'm a simple person. i agree. why do you think i like physics?
i'm a conservative person who gives absolutely no respect to traditions. how does that add up?
on the plus side, the bunch of people i'm working with for the eye-fo are perhaps the most over-achieving bunch of people i've ever met. President's Scholar, MFA Scholar, NTU Scholar and a bunch of others whose affiliations i'm not sure of. and every single one of them councillors when they were in school i think. its really interesting listening to them talk and discuss things.
