Our duty is to be more ourselves, not less - Thomas Merton
This phrase accurately sums up something that I've had to learn in order to accept myself better.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
I am an introvert. This used to bother me, and it still does sometimes. It seemed to me that extroverts got so much more out of life - more friends, more experiences, more highs, more lows. I longed for some of those things too, but found that I simply did not have the emotional energy to keep up with that lifestyle. Hang out with me for two hours, and you will find that my conversation eventually fades away, and I begin to zone out.
Through articles such as the one listed above, through much affirmation from Jill and other friends, through the Bible, I have begun to understand and accept that I am as deeply valued as all the people whom I used to envy. The envy of others stems from the fallacy that there is somehow a perfection that we can each strive to - that there is a state which is superior to all others, which we must achieve to obtain happiness.
There is some element of truth in this, but not in the way that we expect. The Bible, talking about the body of Christ, speaks plainly about the variety that God has imparted into His people, and make it clear that this is part of the plan. As the body of Christ, we are called to move towards perfection as a body, not as individuals, leaving room for the infinite variety of ways in which God has created us. I begin to realise that God is an artist, and that one design cannot adequately express perfection, because each design is different and beautiful in its own way.
Would the perfect body be characterised by having no disagreements whatsoever? I am not sure. Perhaps the perfect body is simply characterised by the ability to settle disagreements in an amicable way.
--------------------------------------------------------
I don't take teasing well. I don't agree with casual flirting, and I hate bargaining and haggling over prices, even when it's considered part of the culture. But I'm learning.
I'm learning that these things should not be taken seriously, which is tough because I take everything seriously. I've begun to realise that all these things are games of a sort, games that people play with each other in full recognition that the words being bandied about are not being said in earnest. The trick now is to transfer this mental understanding into my instinctive reactions.
