rushed post. don't have too much time nowadays. :)
Yesterday morning I got pretty angry at God over a trivial thing. Let's just say it was related to a computer game, and I was accusing God of not loving me. :) Really silly, I know. In my defence, let me say that I believe so firmly in God's power that I believe it extends even to computer games. :)
It brought to mind something I read in the Philip Yancey book, "Reaching for the Invisible God", where the author relates a thought that one of his friends had brought to him - "I believe that God is good, but what good is God?" It seems that sometimes being a Christian makes no difference to your life except point out in great detail what your faults are. We don't see gifts and miracles operating in our lives any more than we see them operating in the lives of others around us, and we wonder why we signed up for this faith of self-denial.
Part of the answer lies in the book of James. "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." God loves us enough that He will not give us something that encourages our faults - He risks our anger and our rejecting Him to keep us holy and pure and set apart for Him. God wants to teach us not to covet the things of this world, so that we will not always "quarrel and fight", "kill and covet", and that we will not cultivate a friendship with this world.
There is a difference between our wants and our needs, and God WILL respond to our needs, and MAY respond to our wants, if they are not against His will. Will God give you a million dollars if He knows that it will encourage you to become lazy and slothful, and to indulge worldly lusts?
Another part of the answer is in James 1. God is training us in perseverance. Other parts of the answer lie in our own sin. I was talking with some friends about salvation, and whether it was truly a free gift in light of all the Bible says the different things which we must not do, or that we should do. It seems to me that we do others a disservice, when we emphasise the free gift that is grace, and make no mention of the life change that needs to follow.
After some thought, I guess that freedom and grace are free indeed, but that by our own actions we willfully walk back into the slavery of sin. No one can serve two masters - if we sin continually and willfully, we are putting ourselves into slavery under sin, and we forfeit the freedom that was bought for us by Christ. That is why the Bible says that idolaters, drunkards and other miscellaneous evil-doers will not enter heaven, because such men have returned to Egypt and slavery. This was confirmed for me in the book of Jude, which condemns those who "change the grace of our God into a license for immorality". Do not be deceived; God is holy.
Grace is free, but no one said it was easy. Jesus himself said that those who come to Him must hate even their own life, and be willing to carry the cross as He did. (Luke 14:25-27)
