From the book i'm reading...
"He doesn't treat the temptations and accusations as if they are weaknesses within himself;"
how hard is it to believe this? we are so willing to believe the worst about ourselves... we are sceptical or disbelieving of things in the spiritual realm... it seems easier to think that we are innately pre-disposed towards sin, and that we are 'dragged off by our own sinful desires' (biblical, can't remember where). But the truth which i have trouble believing is that my heart is now good, that my heart of stone has been replaced by a heart of flesh, and that God's Spirit lives in me, such that these sinful desires are no longer part of me. They were banished when I became a Christian, but the devil continues to try and input them into me daily, taking advantage of my belief in the lie that I am sinful by nature.
"nor does he act as though they will go away if he tries to ignore him."
the secret to resisting the devil is not in self-discipline and determination, but in active resistance. demolish the lie, speak the truth, claim the blood of Jesus Christ and command the tempting spirit to leave in the name of Jesus... again, I have forgotten these things for so long... i have failed to see my struggles as spiritual in nature, and i have been joyless these two months.
i was asking God earlier... "How can I know You more?" asking whether i might have someone to come into my life to train me up in these things - but i remembered that God can do that just fine, even without human help. and i was wondering what i could do now, to learn more about God, and i remembered my book! and a pretty good book it is too! first book in ages - really need to develop a habit of reading edifying stuff.
Apr 29, 2007
Apr 25, 2007
book
been reading "The Way of the Wild Heart", by John Eldredge. it's a sequel of sorts to "Wild at Heart", which is a book written by the same guy some years ago.
It's a book for men, and I think that alot of what he writes is spot on. About men running from challenges that seem too big for them, about men and their refusal to approach people for help (the lost-and-refuse-to-ask-for-directions cliche), about their non-relationships with their own fathers and how this transmits down the generations.
He talks how each man needs a mentor, a 'sifu', a father figure to guide him. not just to teach him how, but to stand alongside him, watch him as he tries something new, to give approval, encouragement, feedback. something which i am particularly sensitive to, and which i try consciously to do, because i thought it lacking in my own life.
he talks about the different stages in a man's life, and how many of the crisis' that face men as they get older is a throwback in some sense to stages of their life that had been abruptly cut short. it spoke to me so strongly that i can even remember the stages without needing to think too hard about it - it seems almost intuitive. beloved son, cowboy, warrior, lover, king, sage. it helps that he draws examples from classic literature (LotR again!!) as well as more contemporary offerings (The Lion King and many other movies I've never watched).
There's a ladies version too, apparently. Co-authored by Stasi Eldredge (his wife). Should be an interesting read... won't mind finding out how women work. :)
It's a book for men, and I think that alot of what he writes is spot on. About men running from challenges that seem too big for them, about men and their refusal to approach people for help (the lost-and-refuse-to-ask-for-directions cliche), about their non-relationships with their own fathers and how this transmits down the generations.
He talks how each man needs a mentor, a 'sifu', a father figure to guide him. not just to teach him how, but to stand alongside him, watch him as he tries something new, to give approval, encouragement, feedback. something which i am particularly sensitive to, and which i try consciously to do, because i thought it lacking in my own life.
he talks about the different stages in a man's life, and how many of the crisis' that face men as they get older is a throwback in some sense to stages of their life that had been abruptly cut short. it spoke to me so strongly that i can even remember the stages without needing to think too hard about it - it seems almost intuitive. beloved son, cowboy, warrior, lover, king, sage. it helps that he draws examples from classic literature (LotR again!!) as well as more contemporary offerings (The Lion King and many other movies I've never watched).
There's a ladies version too, apparently. Co-authored by Stasi Eldredge (his wife). Should be an interesting read... won't mind finding out how women work. :)
Apr 22, 2007
A winning mentality, or...
one thing which scares me alot about my personality is that i cannot play any game without trying my best to win.
even if i decide mentally that, ok, i should play less competitively because i'm spoiling the game for everyone else, i still find it impossible to resist winning when i see the opportunity.
a little of it depends on my focus going into the game - if i am deliberately trying to build relationships with the people i'm playing with, then my focus will be shifted away from the game. but if i have no ulterior motive in mind, then i will focus to the best of my abilities on the game at hand, plotting and scheming my way to victory. this might also have something to do with me being a sore loser sometimes.
it just scares me, because i wonder what it is in me that desires to win so much. and i see a strong need to show that i am better than others, which strikes me as plain arrogance, because even if i am 'better' at one particular thing than someone else, it is by God's grace, and the other person probably stomps me flat at other things.
it also speaks to me of a deep-seated insecurity, that i don't believe that i am a capable person, which drives me to prove myself in any arena placed before me. this also explains some of the times that i am afraid to try new things, because i hesitate to show my incompetence in things i have never tried. and why often i don't ask questions even when i don't understand things, because i am afraid of appearing stupid.
and it's just sad, because this pride has really hindered me in many ways. i know that i could have done so much more with my life had i been less prideful. and that's sad.
anyway, what brought this discussion about was a game of Absolute Balderdash, which i won without talking too much to anyone in particular. sigh... but i enjoyed myself!
even if i decide mentally that, ok, i should play less competitively because i'm spoiling the game for everyone else, i still find it impossible to resist winning when i see the opportunity.
a little of it depends on my focus going into the game - if i am deliberately trying to build relationships with the people i'm playing with, then my focus will be shifted away from the game. but if i have no ulterior motive in mind, then i will focus to the best of my abilities on the game at hand, plotting and scheming my way to victory. this might also have something to do with me being a sore loser sometimes.
it just scares me, because i wonder what it is in me that desires to win so much. and i see a strong need to show that i am better than others, which strikes me as plain arrogance, because even if i am 'better' at one particular thing than someone else, it is by God's grace, and the other person probably stomps me flat at other things.
it also speaks to me of a deep-seated insecurity, that i don't believe that i am a capable person, which drives me to prove myself in any arena placed before me. this also explains some of the times that i am afraid to try new things, because i hesitate to show my incompetence in things i have never tried. and why often i don't ask questions even when i don't understand things, because i am afraid of appearing stupid.
and it's just sad, because this pride has really hindered me in many ways. i know that i could have done so much more with my life had i been less prideful. and that's sad.
anyway, what brought this discussion about was a game of Absolute Balderdash, which i won without talking too much to anyone in particular. sigh... but i enjoyed myself!
Apr 21, 2007
Christianity of Harry Potter
pretty good, well-balanced article on a Christian perspective on Harry Potter. extremely well-reseached and documented, and especially meaningful to me because i know his reference material very well (Narnia,LotR, and to a limited extent, CS Lewis' space trilogy).
http://decentfilms.com/sections/articles/magic.html
however, the article only compares the works based on their respective treatments of the concept of magic, and does not address the over-arching themes of the stories, which is one reason why i like Harry Potter so much. so it's not a complete view. further comments here.
http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?p=4470031
http://decentfilms.com/sections/articles/magic.html
however, the article only compares the works based on their respective treatments of the concept of magic, and does not address the over-arching themes of the stories, which is one reason why i like Harry Potter so much. so it's not a complete view. further comments here.
http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?p=4470031
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