it's been a bad couple of days.
had a great church camp. i did. and even while having the great church camp i was keeping an eye out for what happens next, which is the crash...
well, i didn't exactly crash. but my life didn't exactly change either, which was exactly what i testified about. "all these spiritual experiences, moves of the Spirit etc., aren't the things that change your life. It's in the daily, disciplined walk with the Lord that real change occurs, that real joy is found." let's add something to that, something which i began to realise this past week... if you're not moving forward, you can be certain that you are slipping backward. so it seems to me anyway. the drift will be quite imperceptible at first, but weeks later, when you struggle to get going again, it will be 100 times harder than it was in the first place. humbug.
i'll say it frankly here. the last time i had proper, consistent quiet time was back in 2002. three full years ago. and every once in awhile i try and get back on my feet, but the effort is massive, and my will is weak. and i slip and i fall, and i lie there for awhile gathering strength to try again... i can't find the exit sign! that song that twila paris did a cover of really yelled to me.. "The Warrior is a Child"...
i've always intended to spend at least some time when doing overnight duty to read my bible and be quiet for awhile. it hasn't really happened... instead i spend time surfing the internet and doing bad things. today was about a hundred times worse than usual - just about everyone i met had work for me which kinda just stacked up into a pile that then proceeded to fall on me - hard. basically working till i fell asleep almost, managing to forget the two things given me by the highest-ranked one and earning myself ire. nothing to be done about that now, but i think i will try to avoid a certain officer when the duties are being planned now..
just to post a link here.. http://icestryder.blogspot.com/ came across it while randomly surfing blogs... it was abit of an encouragement to me. to pick myself up and start moving again. icestryder, if you ever wander across this post - thanks. i often hope that my own writings will sometime be an encouragement to others.
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