i thank God for perspective.
so i only took like the longest time today to get into school. it normally takes me anywhere between half an hour to an hour to get into school from jill's place, depending on waiting times - half an hour is with zero waiting time. usually if i take an hour to get in, i get pretty annoyed...
it's the waiting i can't stand. you can't do anything while you're waiting for the bus - half your attention needs to be on the road, lest your bus goes past you while you're engrossed in something else. given a choice between waiting half an hour for a fifteen minute ride, and not waiting at all for an hour long ride, i'd choose the latter - at least you can sleep on the bus.
but of course, that never happens, because you never think you're gonna end up waiting for half an hour, right?
walking to the bus-stop opposite jill's, i saw the bus i needed to take zoom past the stop. cue 15min wait. upon arriving at the holland V interchange, i saw BOTH buses i could take leaving. simultaneously. it always happens somehow; there are two different services i can take there, but i always end up waiting 15 minutes anyway.
so i walked to buona vista, hoping to catch a different service going the same way. didn't work. waited 15min for a 95, which i could have taken from the original bus stop anyway.
arrived in NUS. saw the internal shuttle leaving the bus stop. waited half an hour for the next one to arrive. i think there was only one bus on duty tonight - and it was probably alternating between the A1 and A2 routes. i mean seriously - after i had waited 10 minutes, i saw the A1 pass by on the opposite side of the road, but i decided not to take it since it takes a route about 5 times longer than the A2 to get to hall. but on hindsight, i guess i should have. on hindsight, i shouldn't have taken the 95, but should have taken the 92/200 which would have probably arrived within 2 minutes.
one hour of waiting, for about half an hour of travelling. normally i'd be screaming mad by now. i mean by about half an hour ago. but i thank God for perspective.
it's easy to blame God when these things happen. If you believe that God is omnipotent and in control of all things, if you believe that nothing is coincidental, but everything is planned by God, then God has to take the blame for these things. I was trying very hard not to think about that, but half an hour of waiting is abit much. the most i've ever done before is 45mins, but thats because the buses were full and wouldn't stop.
so i was asking God why He was wasting my time like this, and what could possibly be the reason for making me wait so long. and i remember that i haven't exactly been very faithful in how i use my time either. playing abit too much dota these past two nights, eating into my sleep time. other things too, internet etc. been quite ill-disciplined this past week.
and what came to me was this: if all i'm gonna do with the time God gives me is fritter it away frivolously, then God might as well not give me the time, and take it away in even more frivolous things i.e waiting endlessly for buses.
it reminded me of the parable of the talents, somehow. the guys who put their talents to work ended up receiving more from God, but the one who didn't bother using his talent had it taken away from him.
so here i am, frittering away some more time frivolously, blogging. but i hope it's not a frivolous activity. i hope you learn something from it.
God Bless.
May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus
For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You
Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first of my heart
Oct 24, 2006
Oct 13, 2006
Word of God spoke
so there i was, back in my hostel room last night. the door was closed, the lights were off, the blinds were up, and the night sky was beautiful. my girlfriend was with me, and we were just lying on my bed, talking about stuff.
and then i was tempted, as i often am, and perhaps i might have fallen, except for this song which had been stuck in my head the whole night, which i was still humming to myself even as i lay there.
Word of God speak
Won't you pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your Majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your Holiness
Word of God speak
Eph 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Ps 51:11 (After David had committed adultery) Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Haven't been blogging much of late. NUS is working me quite hard.
and then i was tempted, as i often am, and perhaps i might have fallen, except for this song which had been stuck in my head the whole night, which i was still humming to myself even as i lay there.
Word of God speak
Won't you pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your Majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your Holiness
Word of God speak
Eph 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Ps 51:11 (After David had committed adultery) Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Haven't been blogging much of late. NUS is working me quite hard.
Sep 24, 2006
mugger = ?
before i make some lame joke about muggers, here's the first ever multimedia content on this blog!
nothing much to note, except the hilarious moment when Craig Bellamy, missing an absolute open goal, stands there with his head in his hands while teammate Mark Gonzalez rifles home the rebound. (roughly 51st and 57th second of the video)
In the words of Homer Simpson, "Doh!"
Anyway, it's a very interesting point to note that the word mugger has a very different meaning in Singapore compared to the rest of the world. In Singapore, it refers to someone who studies very hard - elsewhere, it refers to someone who hides in dark alleys at night, bonks you on the head and takes your wallet.
I imagine it must cause some confusion when Singaporean students go overseas...
Roles:
Singaporean Student Complaining About Competitives School System (SG)
Clueless Ang-Moh Trying To Decipher The Intricacies Of Singlish (AM)
SG: Yah lar... how to be the top of the class in Singapore... whole country full of chao muggers
AM: *has the strange mental picture of innocent students being waylaid by miscreants*
Sounds like decent material for a mrbrown.com podcast, actually.
Bet the foreigners will start wondering how true Singapore's reputation for low crime is, if we're "full of muggers"
I mean, all the top muggers from the surrounding countries come here lor... worse still, the government sponsors some of them...
SG: "Yah man, NUS is the worst place lah.. like, every single person there is a super-mugger"
AM: *thinking that it must be quite hard to study if you're beaten up and robbed every single day*
therefore, for those people going overseas to study, please be aware that using the word mugger in a foreign setting may lead to international misunderstandings. =)
nothing much to note, except the hilarious moment when Craig Bellamy, missing an absolute open goal, stands there with his head in his hands while teammate Mark Gonzalez rifles home the rebound. (roughly 51st and 57th second of the video)
In the words of Homer Simpson, "Doh!"
Anyway, it's a very interesting point to note that the word mugger has a very different meaning in Singapore compared to the rest of the world. In Singapore, it refers to someone who studies very hard - elsewhere, it refers to someone who hides in dark alleys at night, bonks you on the head and takes your wallet.
I imagine it must cause some confusion when Singaporean students go overseas...
Roles:
Singaporean Student Complaining About Competitives School System (SG)
Clueless Ang-Moh Trying To Decipher The Intricacies Of Singlish (AM)
SG: Yah lar... how to be the top of the class in Singapore... whole country full of chao muggers
AM: *has the strange mental picture of innocent students being waylaid by miscreants*
Sounds like decent material for a mrbrown.com podcast, actually.
Bet the foreigners will start wondering how true Singapore's reputation for low crime is, if we're "full of muggers"
I mean, all the top muggers from the surrounding countries come here lor... worse still, the government sponsors some of them...
SG: "Yah man, NUS is the worst place lah.. like, every single person there is a super-mugger"
AM: *thinking that it must be quite hard to study if you're beaten up and robbed every single day*
therefore, for those people going overseas to study, please be aware that using the word mugger in a foreign setting may lead to international misunderstandings. =)
Sep 8, 2006
Sep 7, 2006
faith that brings freedom
"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."
I learnt something recently about faith, that's been quite freeing.
Sometimes it's hard to have faith in God for miracles. Hard to believe that miracles happen in this day and age, although i've heard so many testimonies of it happening. In the back of my mind is always the thought, "What if I ask for this, and it doesn't come true? What does that say about my God?" God knows its happened often enough. Prayers rejected, sometimes many in a row, leave me wondering where my faith is. I hate the doubting, so sometimes I don't dare to ask.
something i learnt recently... not sure where from. perhaps it was revelation. no bible references either.. =).. so terrible.
what is our faith based on? ponder this for a moment.
our faith is not based on God's past faithfulness, even though this may provide a very convincing case by itself. No, our faith is based on who God is, who by very nature is as faithful as man is faithless. If I ask God for something, and it does not come true, it no longer shakes my faith, because my faith is not based on God's track record. and so I have become emboldened to ask for things, and in yet another counter-intuitive result, my prayers are now answered more often than not. How i never have to wait more than a minute to get a seat in Science canteen at lunch hour, or never fail to get a seat on the train when i really want one.
tomorrow's Nav rally is on faith. think i'm skipping cell again to go and listen. sigh... not really sure where my priorities lie now... physics pracs again next week!! oh nose!!
I learnt something recently about faith, that's been quite freeing.
Sometimes it's hard to have faith in God for miracles. Hard to believe that miracles happen in this day and age, although i've heard so many testimonies of it happening. In the back of my mind is always the thought, "What if I ask for this, and it doesn't come true? What does that say about my God?" God knows its happened often enough. Prayers rejected, sometimes many in a row, leave me wondering where my faith is. I hate the doubting, so sometimes I don't dare to ask.
something i learnt recently... not sure where from. perhaps it was revelation. no bible references either.. =).. so terrible.
what is our faith based on? ponder this for a moment.
our faith is not based on God's past faithfulness, even though this may provide a very convincing case by itself. No, our faith is based on who God is, who by very nature is as faithful as man is faithless. If I ask God for something, and it does not come true, it no longer shakes my faith, because my faith is not based on God's track record. and so I have become emboldened to ask for things, and in yet another counter-intuitive result, my prayers are now answered more often than not. How i never have to wait more than a minute to get a seat in Science canteen at lunch hour, or never fail to get a seat on the train when i really want one.
tomorrow's Nav rally is on faith. think i'm skipping cell again to go and listen. sigh... not really sure where my priorities lie now... physics pracs again next week!! oh nose!!
Orange and Blue
a month of school has come and gone...
over a month, probably, since i put anything here of any worth. i wonder why the same few people keep coming back, when this is so rarely updated. i wonder why i still receive feedback on what i write nearly immediately after it gets written.
thanks peeps.
so. a month of school. just about went nuts the first two weeks, trying to remember how to cope with school again. i've conveniently forgotten these past couple of years that my JC life was blessed beyond belief - teachers who didn't believe in collecting tutorials/assignments; teachers who were absolutely brilliant at doing what they did - training me to take my exams and take them well.
that's partly why i want to teach.
but it's a whole different kettle of fish here at NUS. no one's really gonna take care of you; sink or swim by your own merits. just keeping track of the various tutorials/lecture notes/lab manuals/random announcements and other random things for six separate modules is more than one consciousness can handle. i've settled down, after i concluded that being a science geek, all that really matters are the tutorials and labs... if i can do those, i should be fine when the exams come around. although i'm absolutely lost as to what i should do for those non-science modules which don't have tutorials... owell.
I've settled into digs at PGP, which is 5 minutes by shuttle bus from where all my classes are held. i've taken my room and made it look like my own, replete with love notes from gf. i've got stuff put away neatly in files, i've got a stack of CDs waiting to be recorded into the laptop, i've got several books waiting for me to read them.
i'm really enjoying myself here... it just seems easier to focus and get my work done when i'm always conscious of the fact that hey, i'm still in school! i thank God for the scholarship that has made all these things possible.
it wasn't school so much that was stressful. i stressed myself out, really. my goal, my aim, is to take this time that i have here, alone and away from the distractions of home, to really make good use of my time. to be a good steward of this precious resource God has given me. and so i filled my days with endless activities, not least of which was quiet time in the morning everyday sometime before 10am, which is when my first lesson starts everyday.
i guess i burnt out. i still look on in envy at the people who put 12 hours in everyday running about and seem to be still so full of energy at the end of it - who do their work on buses between destinations, or do tutorials while simultaneously paying attention to the lecturer. who don't ever seem to need time to wind down and rest except at the end of each day when they go to bed. i'm jealous. maybe it's my diet, or my lack of exercise, but i can't keep up with them.
it's a hopeless battle, perhaps. i've given in, and spent the last 2 and a half hours playing FM2006, and i feel better. but in little mood to work. don't think i'll do anything tonight.
-) <---- that's a cyclops smiley face
i guess that at heart i don't believe that God can work though my personality to do good works that someone designed otherwise cannot do. my belief is that my personality is a hindrance brought on by challenges which i ran from when growing up. how does God work through the person who sees a familiar face, and walks in the opposite direction because he's often not fond of company? we were made for fellowship!
i find meeting new people so tiring. it's such an effort to make small talk at the beginning of a relationship - i much prefer it when there's an excuse such as work, to keep the conversation going. so much so that i tend to avoid acquaintances, and choose to only talk to established friends. and i'm guesssing that people think i'm conceited, which may not be too far off the mark. what can i say? i'm too lazy to make the effort to get to know someone whom i believe i will never meet again, and in a small country like Singapore, that choice often proves to be a poor one. God work through this? more like God work to change this, i think.
so many things i want to say... but so lazy.
a friend posted the lyrics to a song that i heard once before, which i want to learn. but i'm against piracy, which means that i've got to splash out 20-30 bucks to pick up the CD... doesn't seem worth it, somehow. haven't bought a CD in months, or maybe even years. i keep telling myself God honours those who honour Him... and i know that i can live without having all the latest songs, or even the most inspiring songs. remember that Lucifer was supposedly the angel of music.... puts me in mind of Phantom. -)
over a month, probably, since i put anything here of any worth. i wonder why the same few people keep coming back, when this is so rarely updated. i wonder why i still receive feedback on what i write nearly immediately after it gets written.
thanks peeps.
so. a month of school. just about went nuts the first two weeks, trying to remember how to cope with school again. i've conveniently forgotten these past couple of years that my JC life was blessed beyond belief - teachers who didn't believe in collecting tutorials/assignments; teachers who were absolutely brilliant at doing what they did - training me to take my exams and take them well.
that's partly why i want to teach.
but it's a whole different kettle of fish here at NUS. no one's really gonna take care of you; sink or swim by your own merits. just keeping track of the various tutorials/lecture notes/lab manuals/random announcements and other random things for six separate modules is more than one consciousness can handle. i've settled down, after i concluded that being a science geek, all that really matters are the tutorials and labs... if i can do those, i should be fine when the exams come around. although i'm absolutely lost as to what i should do for those non-science modules which don't have tutorials... owell.
I've settled into digs at PGP, which is 5 minutes by shuttle bus from where all my classes are held. i've taken my room and made it look like my own, replete with love notes from gf. i've got stuff put away neatly in files, i've got a stack of CDs waiting to be recorded into the laptop, i've got several books waiting for me to read them.
i'm really enjoying myself here... it just seems easier to focus and get my work done when i'm always conscious of the fact that hey, i'm still in school! i thank God for the scholarship that has made all these things possible.
it wasn't school so much that was stressful. i stressed myself out, really. my goal, my aim, is to take this time that i have here, alone and away from the distractions of home, to really make good use of my time. to be a good steward of this precious resource God has given me. and so i filled my days with endless activities, not least of which was quiet time in the morning everyday sometime before 10am, which is when my first lesson starts everyday.
i guess i burnt out. i still look on in envy at the people who put 12 hours in everyday running about and seem to be still so full of energy at the end of it - who do their work on buses between destinations, or do tutorials while simultaneously paying attention to the lecturer. who don't ever seem to need time to wind down and rest except at the end of each day when they go to bed. i'm jealous. maybe it's my diet, or my lack of exercise, but i can't keep up with them.
it's a hopeless battle, perhaps. i've given in, and spent the last 2 and a half hours playing FM2006, and i feel better. but in little mood to work. don't think i'll do anything tonight.
-) <---- that's a cyclops smiley face
i guess that at heart i don't believe that God can work though my personality to do good works that someone designed otherwise cannot do. my belief is that my personality is a hindrance brought on by challenges which i ran from when growing up. how does God work through the person who sees a familiar face, and walks in the opposite direction because he's often not fond of company? we were made for fellowship!
i find meeting new people so tiring. it's such an effort to make small talk at the beginning of a relationship - i much prefer it when there's an excuse such as work, to keep the conversation going. so much so that i tend to avoid acquaintances, and choose to only talk to established friends. and i'm guesssing that people think i'm conceited, which may not be too far off the mark. what can i say? i'm too lazy to make the effort to get to know someone whom i believe i will never meet again, and in a small country like Singapore, that choice often proves to be a poor one. God work through this? more like God work to change this, i think.
so many things i want to say... but so lazy.
a friend posted the lyrics to a song that i heard once before, which i want to learn. but i'm against piracy, which means that i've got to splash out 20-30 bucks to pick up the CD... doesn't seem worth it, somehow. haven't bought a CD in months, or maybe even years. i keep telling myself God honours those who honour Him... and i know that i can live without having all the latest songs, or even the most inspiring songs. remember that Lucifer was supposedly the angel of music.... puts me in mind of Phantom. -)
Sep 4, 2006
Liverpool over Chelsea, no doubt about it
This is the wrong place to put this, but i need some place to remember this link by.
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=291830&cc=5739
The relevant quote from Mourinho being, "Liverpool over Chelsea, no doubt about it." =)
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=291830&cc=5739
The relevant quote from Mourinho being, "Liverpool over Chelsea, no doubt about it." =)
Aug 3, 2006
What price, failure?
this post is inspired by something my dad was sharing with me.
he was talking about the huge obstacles to local entrepreneurship, despite all the governmental schemes to encourage it. he used the example of a lemonade stand...
it is the stereotypically american thing-to-do-in-summer-when-your-kid-is-bored-and-wants-more-money to set up a little lemonade stand on the sidewalk, and staff it with a blue-eyed, blonde girl with ribbons in her hair etc etc. my dad asked, what would happen if we tried this in singapore?
AVA would get on your case, ask if you had gotten approval for selling consumables. NEA would want to ask about the hygiene standards of your preparation. SPF would inquire as to whether you have a license to run a business. that's three off the top of my head, and i've never actually tried - i'm sure there would be more trouble than that. before you sold your first drink, you would be a thousand dollars in the red.
it seems that in singapore, you have to get permission before you do anything, which is in stark contrast to the attitudes in some other countries, where if it isn't explicitly banned, it must therefore be legal?
the startup costs in singapore are so extremely high, that few people have the capital to even survive one failed business, let alone try again. so that got me thinking on this whole concept on the fear of failure...
It was Winston Churchill who said that success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm. We can relate to this in our everyday lives - did we not fall a single time when we learnt to ride a bicycle? Yet if we choose to focus on the consequences of failure, we would have never learnt. Yet we fail and we continue to fail to apply this simple lesson as we grow.
Perhaps it is because the consequences of failure only become magnified with age. Each risk is treated like a gamble, and we feel the stakes too high to get involved. But at what price?
At secondary school, we pick and choose the subjects which will probably give us the best grades. Eventually, we pick and choose the career path which will give us the best prospects. We shy away from things outside our comfort zone, because to try new things is to court failure. Better to stick to what you know well, and do well. I say this from personal experience.
It seems therefore that the sum of our life experiences occured before the age of six. Everything thereafter is a repeat of those experiences. We become like hermit crabs, hiding in our shells. Or even the proverbial frog at the bottom of the well. And we never go on to fulfill the vast potential hidden within us waiting to be released.
I believe that everyone has a great talent and gift waiting to be released. I think that if anyone knew me during JC and knew me now, they would not recognise me. How much difference a little confidence makes.
I want to thank the people who have been prodding me in various ways out of my comfort zones. To try new things, and to discover new things, and discover in the midst of all these new things, new things about myself that I never knew.
If we stop trying new things, we stop growing. I was 12 years old throughout secondary school, and am struggling to catch up. If you remain twelve forever mentally, how sad that would be.
So one of the things I want to bear in mind when I teach, is to continually challenge people to move out of their comfort zones. Basically to do something which they are not initially comfortable with. It can be something small - speaking in front of the class, doing flag-raising. I'm quite keen on using project work to teach people to work independently, and to learn how to take initiative.
Ok, getting late, and I'm getting incoherent. So many other things I wanted to say... sigh. Hope I remember them later.
he was talking about the huge obstacles to local entrepreneurship, despite all the governmental schemes to encourage it. he used the example of a lemonade stand...
it is the stereotypically american thing-to-do-in-summer-when-your-kid-is-bored-and-wants-more-money to set up a little lemonade stand on the sidewalk, and staff it with a blue-eyed, blonde girl with ribbons in her hair etc etc. my dad asked, what would happen if we tried this in singapore?
AVA would get on your case, ask if you had gotten approval for selling consumables. NEA would want to ask about the hygiene standards of your preparation. SPF would inquire as to whether you have a license to run a business. that's three off the top of my head, and i've never actually tried - i'm sure there would be more trouble than that. before you sold your first drink, you would be a thousand dollars in the red.
it seems that in singapore, you have to get permission before you do anything, which is in stark contrast to the attitudes in some other countries, where if it isn't explicitly banned, it must therefore be legal?
the startup costs in singapore are so extremely high, that few people have the capital to even survive one failed business, let alone try again. so that got me thinking on this whole concept on the fear of failure...
It was Winston Churchill who said that success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm. We can relate to this in our everyday lives - did we not fall a single time when we learnt to ride a bicycle? Yet if we choose to focus on the consequences of failure, we would have never learnt. Yet we fail and we continue to fail to apply this simple lesson as we grow.
Perhaps it is because the consequences of failure only become magnified with age. Each risk is treated like a gamble, and we feel the stakes too high to get involved. But at what price?
At secondary school, we pick and choose the subjects which will probably give us the best grades. Eventually, we pick and choose the career path which will give us the best prospects. We shy away from things outside our comfort zone, because to try new things is to court failure. Better to stick to what you know well, and do well. I say this from personal experience.
It seems therefore that the sum of our life experiences occured before the age of six. Everything thereafter is a repeat of those experiences. We become like hermit crabs, hiding in our shells. Or even the proverbial frog at the bottom of the well. And we never go on to fulfill the vast potential hidden within us waiting to be released.
I believe that everyone has a great talent and gift waiting to be released. I think that if anyone knew me during JC and knew me now, they would not recognise me. How much difference a little confidence makes.
I want to thank the people who have been prodding me in various ways out of my comfort zones. To try new things, and to discover new things, and discover in the midst of all these new things, new things about myself that I never knew.
If we stop trying new things, we stop growing. I was 12 years old throughout secondary school, and am struggling to catch up. If you remain twelve forever mentally, how sad that would be.
So one of the things I want to bear in mind when I teach, is to continually challenge people to move out of their comfort zones. Basically to do something which they are not initially comfortable with. It can be something small - speaking in front of the class, doing flag-raising. I'm quite keen on using project work to teach people to work independently, and to learn how to take initiative.
Ok, getting late, and I'm getting incoherent. So many other things I wanted to say... sigh. Hope I remember them later.
weakness
i decided today that all our weaknesses exist for one reason only; to give us opportunity to love one another.
if we could see everyone around us in this way, how great that would be. still learning...
and how great it would be if we all were aware of our own weaknesses... we would be more humble, and more conscious of the grace of God and of people around us who put up with our nonsense for so long...
what brought this on was my knee again... gave me a twinge today as i was getting into my dad's van... you know the little torque that you do twisting yourself to get into a vehicle... that was enough apparently for me to turn the knee the wrong way, and twinge it. and i jumped a little, and plomped down onto the seat, and cried out, thinking what a weakling i am. don't think i'll survive the marathon.
but God made me this way, weaknesses and all. and He loves me just the same. and people around me love me too, in spite of my own hang-ups, and that's wonderful to know.
i guess another way of looking at it is that i'm unique and special, and God takes special care of me because of my specific weaknesses. =)
if we could see everyone around us in this way, how great that would be. still learning...
and how great it would be if we all were aware of our own weaknesses... we would be more humble, and more conscious of the grace of God and of people around us who put up with our nonsense for so long...
what brought this on was my knee again... gave me a twinge today as i was getting into my dad's van... you know the little torque that you do twisting yourself to get into a vehicle... that was enough apparently for me to turn the knee the wrong way, and twinge it. and i jumped a little, and plomped down onto the seat, and cried out, thinking what a weakling i am. don't think i'll survive the marathon.
but God made me this way, weaknesses and all. and He loves me just the same. and people around me love me too, in spite of my own hang-ups, and that's wonderful to know.
i guess another way of looking at it is that i'm unique and special, and God takes special care of me because of my specific weaknesses. =)
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